What It Means to Honor a Woman

couplecherished

This past week the world lost a pretty amazing guy. Scott was my classmate in college—we were in the same friendship circles and were fellow English majors and theater people. He went on to become a husband, daddy, and pastor. He was in his thirties when he passed. So, so young. But Scott touched many lives with his spirit, wit, faith, humor, intelligence, and kindness. I can’t stop reading stories about him. I picture his wide smile, joyful spirit, and mop of curly black hair. And I have shed a number of tears, grieving for the world’s loss but heaven’s gain.

I also have an image of him and his now-wife laughing and teasing each other in the residence halls where I desk sat. I remember watching them with slight envy; it was so evident the depth of their friendship and comfort and love for each other. Scott was handsome and smart and witty, easy to develop a crush on, but it took two seconds to see that his and Lara’s relationship was special. Solid. Foundational.

My friend Rachel posted this on Lara’s Facebook wall. To me, it encapsulates so well what it means for a man to honor his woman (and for us women, to honor our men). And, as another friend pointed out, it speaks even more to Scott’s character the kindness he displayed to the other girl as well.

I was thinking about a thing that happened at Westminster. You had graduated but came often to visit. During one of the times you were away, a girl had a crush on Scott and approached him in sort of a public way. I remember being an onlooker and a little taken aback by her boldness. She had said she really liked him. With a twinkle in his eye (out of kindness) he said, “This is so flattering and I know there is someone out there for you … but it’s not me … I already found the love of my life and I think you’d be friends. I can introduce you two next time she’s on campus.” I think every girl who saw this happen had so much respect for him and his integrity—more importantly, love of you.

To me, this is one of the most beautiful demonstrations of the honor and integrity a man can display for his woman, actions that cherish and esteem her even when she is not in the room.

(And vice versa, ladies, we can respect and esteem our men when they are not in the room.)

Rest in peace, dear brother in Christ. I know we shall all meet again. Your love for Lara and for all whose paths you crossed will live on until that day.

Blessings to you all this week. Cherish those you love.

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4 comments

  1. You know that was so touching. I love how he let her know and did it so kindly. Many men lead you on and pretend they are single and then some love the attention and then at the end of the conversation they throw in my wife and I or we, etc. But they want your attention first. So he was a great guy on all accounts, it sounds like. Sorry for your loss of a good friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a special way to honor your friends this week. I think you should share this with Lara. It sounds like Scott was a truly great guy, and their love was enviable from the start. Some people are luck enough to have that. I’m sorry they didn’t have each other for longer. 😕

    Liked by 1 person

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